I did my duty. Right? At least that’s what I want to think. In terms of seeing her. It’s all duty. That’s what we tell ourselves. Or maybe that’s just what I tell myself. I’m probably on my own, when it comes to this role to fulfill. The old knight. Protecting the honour of the Princess. Unsworn. Unbound.

I finally had my chance to see her. Do you understand what that means to me? I finally had my chance with just her. Me and her. To a dull blade like myself, it was the greatest honour to experience. Well… we all know what the greatest honour truly is. But a simple man doesn’t ask for much. Is she unhappy about that? Who knows.

But yes. I finally got to see the Princess. Alone. Away from the court. None of the other knights and nobles. Just she and I. The way it used to be. Well, it honestly wasn’t the way it used to be, but it was good enough. To have her hand alone. Without everyone else intruding our dance. To me, it meant the world. To her, I really don’t know. But she and I have been long overdue.

We have our personal voice. And we have our stage voice.

Every time I had seen her, these past few decades, it had been in the presence of everybody else. With my other two comrades, I mean. Or with her house. Or with her sworn. Bless him. Or with the General. Rest in Peace. Either way, whenever I did see her, everybody else was around. To me, those times with her were not so fulfilling.

I’m unsure how it is for everybody else, but I’m a different person when I’m alone with someone, versus if I’m around in a party. I’m sure everyone else is like that too, right? We have our personal voice. And we have our stage voice. Our team voice? Our family voice? The different acts we all play. I’m sure you understand what I’m talking about, my darling. I’ve heard all your different voices. And that’s the thing. I know all her different voices too. Does she remember mine?

What good is a knight if he has not his devotion?

I know the strong woman she has now become. It almost makes us knights feel irrelevant. Like we no longer need to protect her. Silly thoughts. I’ll always be hers. What good is a knight if he has not his devotion? But for her, should I? I’ve never had the honour to be sworn to her. That doesn’t mean I won’t fight for her. Maybe that’s the silly thing. Silly old me. But still. For her, I can’t help it.

Even if she shows the worlds how mighty she is, I still see her the same way I always have. Whether she likes it or not.

I must say, the Princess is well accomplished. Strong. Proud. Independent. Is that the right word? Maybe I don’t wanna use ‘Independent’. Not that it’s not correct. I just fancy not using such a term for her. But she truly does know how to look after herself, and her house.

It’s funny. Last night I was telling her about how my presence is rarely requested. How I’m not exactly a common face in everybody else’s everyday. Which is fair. I’m used to it. As she wondered why such an esteemed knight was uncommon at anybody’s court, I explained. Folk never think of me because they see me as strong and independent. And because of that, Folk seem sure that I’ll be fine on my own. We can’t blame them. I’ve always been on my own. Why would they call for me now?

The Princess felt my sigh when I explained all that. The sweet girl. She read me. Easily. I felt it. And when I looked to her, it made sense. I finally remembered. She had always been like me. Journeying life on her own. Unsupported by everybody else. Well, somewhat. I think she and I forget this at times. That we’ve always had each other. Maybe not as often as we would’ve liked. But still, we’ve never had to win each other’s trust over and over again, like how some relationship just fade over time. We’ve all experienced that. The folk that come and go. With me and her, though, it wasn’t like that. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want her time. So, of course I went to go see her.

Father above, she is still gorgeous as ever. She still has that charm in her smile. That sweetness in her eyes. That sass in her walk. I’ll never get enough of that. Okay. I’ll stop talking about her like that, my darling. I don’t want you to get upset. But Father above, she is still as alluring as ever. She never had to put much effort into her look. At least for me, she never had to. I guess it’s because I still see her the same way.

After getting through all the usual talk and formalities, we finally got to properly reconnecting. Some what. The night didn’t stream as well as I had hoped. Not that anything wrong happened. Everything was fine. But when I planned to see her, I just truly wanted to get back in touch with her. The real her. The sweet, loving girl that I know. I know who she has become now. She tells me all about it. But in all honesty, my main concern was just her. Her. That her that knows the real me. In a way, she and I are still somewhat strangers. That’s why we talk and catch up on each other’s lives. But me and her know each other awfully well. That’s why I had us meet alone. Away from everybody else. I think she too understood what I was trying to plan. Time for us.

We didn’t get in touch as much as I hoped. But there were times, every now and then, when we’d just be us again. Those small moments. Our hearts would touch. Embrace. I wonder if she could tell. No matter. A man can’t ask for much. It had been a long while. And we had our own lives to uphold. But either way, I was happy with anything. At least we were both more sure about each other again. It’s a start.

She’s still sweet. She’s still dear. It’s still warm beside her. I wonder if she knows that. I’ll be sure to give her more of my time. I wonder how she feels about that. Because I must tell her again.

She’s always busy.

Love from yours truly

-Daniel Roy

P.S.

The General would expect no less of me.