I thought I had dealt with these illusions already. These fantasies. These dreams I allow my spirit to dance and surrender to while I shy away from reality. I thought I had allowed myself to let go of these fantasies already. But here I am, alone where I rest, smiling at these worlds so sweet and nurturing, but that only exist inside the chambers of my mind. Why have I still not let go?

I still wonder about her, my darling. I still worry if she is well. My gentle Luna. I still feel her soul embrace with mine, even while we both make sure to never embrace in this physical reality. And it’s not that I purposely allow myself to sail those astral planes with her. There is something else at play here. As I let my mind wander in it’s peace, I still find my soul dancing with her’s in those realms forgotten by this reality. I wonder if it is she who summons me there. Or do we both not have a say as to where and when our souls meet.

That’s what’s bothering me. I’m feeling your soul, even less these days, my darling. Makes me wonder if you’re even bothering to call me anymore. Or is it me tugging too roughly on our threads? Is that what averts us further away from one another? Is that how it even works?

I can still feel the binds upon me. The binds of you and I. But for some reason, I’m not feeling the pulses stream through from your end anymore. What has happened?

I still feel like I’m going to see you soon, my darling. An almost impossible possibility. I know. It’s not likely you’ll fly back down here. But a man can still believe in such fantasies, right? Father above I shouls let go. Or is it Luna I feel drawing closer. I don’t know anymore. And why her? Maybe it’s that damned link that she and I can’t seem to shake off. Or maybe it is a different soul entirely. I’ve not a clue. But something is approaching in my wake. My spirit feels it so. Something draws closer.

My apologies for speaking of others, my darling. You’re still the last flame. Don’t you worry about that. It’s just that the decades out of your service have made me aware of all these other ties. Ties I’m aware I should probably detach from. I still honour myself a knight. It’s all I truly know. Knighthood. Sworn oaths. Honour. But to walk as a ronin is just not fitting for my like.

Maybe these sudden changes in the wind are what’s puzzling me.

It seems Life is coaxing me further into my journey as a writer. A new soul has taken a liking to my crafts. Bless the Princess for acquainting me to such an angel. And this light worker is nudging me to share my words with these worlds. I know Ponyo has already opened that path for me, but it’s not as if I know how to sail these waters. I’m but a stranger to such realms.

Life has offered me this wonderful guide. Bless Life! Such a dear goddess she is. This new light worker before me is as excited to journey as I am. But even so, I dare not rely on her directions for too long, lest I never find a way to repay the favour. I don’t even feel deserving of such light. But if Father above grants me such grace, I must honour his blessings.

Inside, I feel that part of this new journey upon these new waters involes I break free. That I untie what is still tethered upon my spirit. How can I sail if my ship is bound to port? That is why I know I must soon let go of these binds. These binds won’t seem to let my ship go. But what of what’s coming? What is this feeling I feel? A possibly crewmate for the journey? Something approaches. Who knows?

I must end this letter here. I am late for dance practice. Coach will scold me again.

I cant wait to see you soon, my darling.

Love from yours truly

– Daniel Roy