As the new year comes, it’s time for me to pick up the quills of war, and begin writing all of your lives away.

I’ve stayed too long without writing. A time to expose myself to this physical chaos called Life was much needed. Every hero needs his trails and ordeals. It’s not until the world strengthens his body, sharpens his skills, and reconfigures his beliefs, will he be mighty enough to fight the war. And with keen eyes, as I return home, I see now what needed to be done.

I’m back at the old keep where I learned my trade. My old home. Life forced me back here, and relinquished me of all the unnecessary duties that this world of greed and consumption once oppressed upon my soul.

Every chance I had to build a lasting fire would mean to set everything ablaze.

I was lost in the shadowy forest. Every day was night, and every moment was spent searching for small embers of hope just to get by. There was never the time nor resources to fuel an honest fire. Every chance I had to build a lasting fire would mean to set everything ablaze. Everything. Everyone.

There were way too many of us lost in that darkness. And if we were to create some true light, the only way to make room was to burn those who were in our wake. And if not our own fire, we would flock like the rest to the unforgiving wildfires.

The wildfires cared not for our souls. They would burn as brightly as they wanted, consuming those who strayed too close, charring the rest who kept their distance. There was no way to win out there. Either suffer the comfort, or make others suffer for the sake of your own light. And yet, as bright as these wildfires burned, this endless forest was still the most shadowy place I had ever seen.

I somehow escaped.

Better to suffer the burns of comfort than the torment of one’s own soul.

I don’t know how. But I somehow made it out. It took centuries of lurking through the shadows, away from those so-called life-sustaining lights. As much as I sought warmth and belonging, I knew I would not find true flourishment anywhere near the wildfires. And so away from those torrid tyrants I wandered.

It was a painfully long march. The madness that engulfed anybody who strayed too long in the dark was not kind. The mind and the spirit were delicate things in the dark. And once alone, they were as brittle as eggshells. It was the very reason why most would quickly cling to any flickering they saw in the distance. No matter how agonzing such fires would be, most would cling. Better to suffer the burns of comfort than the torment of one’s own soul. But I had had enough. And I knew the truth of such treacherous lights. So long as I clung to such fires, I would still be stuck in the shadowy forest. And so on, I marched. And on, I faced the true dweller of the dark. My own shadow.

He has an agenda of his own, after all.

Our shadows are curious friends. Though they are an invaluable company, they do not wish to be alone. I felt myself circle back into that dark realm several times. And I knew I had steered the wrong way when I saw familiar comforts draw closer. Comforts that had fooled me once. Comforts that gave me scars I am not so proud of. Comforts of the darkness. The wildfires. My shadow stood well beside me in the dark, but where he danced, there were only so many ways to find relief.

Once you dwell in the darkness long enough, it is hard to take notice of where you are. Our shadow, unfortunately, is not always helpful with such directions. He has an agenda of his own, after all. But with the right eyes and spirit, one might hopefully look up one day and see a different sky. It took me countless centuries of shadows and madness, but one day, I noticed I was finally out of that forest.

Old roads lay before me. Cold and lonely. But they didn’t burn you like the fires. There was enough light out here to see ahead. And out here, there is just so much more to see.

And that’s how I found my way back to my old keep. And that’s how I found my old desk and my old quills.

The time had finally come again.

Now I could craft these colourful worlds again. Now I could make spirts dance in dreams and wonder. Now I could teach the curious the wisdoms they never knew they needed. Now I could kindle my light and not hurt a soul in the wake of my flame.

I could still see the wildfires far out there. I could still see the gloom of the shadowy forest stretch far across the land. But for now, I’ll stay here.

There will be a time where I will make my way back into forest. There are souls deep within there that need a true sense of light. I will clear the path for them once the time comes.

Hold strong, my dears.

Hold strong.