Continued…
Did she just say my name?
Dallas. She said Dallas.
The whole situation became more confusing. First the details of Tykliss and the war there. And now she said my name. Well, she said what sounded like my name.
“Hey!” I trotted closer to her. “What name did you just say?”
“Dallis? Your name, my love.”
I looked upon myself. My ID tag and chain was still under my shirt – not that it explicitly said my first name, but only the initial ‘D’. Did I have a name badge on me? No. But she didn’t exactly say my name correctly, accent or not.
“Well, what if I told you that that wasn’t my name?”
“Fine!” she rolled her eyes. “Dah’ Las’. You know I like to say it my way. Makes your name sound more cute.” she did her smile to me again.
Maybe there was another Dallas she had mistaken me for. My name wasn’t a common name in Pallio, but there must have been someone else she had mistaken me for.
“You might have the wrong person. Can you tell me…”
“Corporal Dallas Carvoux of the 2nd Battalion. 70th Armor division” she said. “I had to always say that when I would visit you at the infirmary, back when they used to let me.”
I didn’t know what to say. This woman knew exactly who I was. Why couldn’t I remember her? Did what she said about the attack on a vehicle actually happen? No one had ever spoken to me about such an incident. Not my unit. Not my friends, or family. I was so confused. Who was this lady?
She noticed I had gone quiet and saw my face. Then she offered me the skewer again while we walked. We were walking. Well, I was following beside her again. I didn’t even realize that. And, unawarely, I shifted all the bags to one hand and took the skewer. Shouldn’t I have been more alert? But my goodness, was the skewer delicious. I had forgotten that I hadn’t yet eaten.
The girl saw that I quickly finished my skewer and laughed. She handed me the second.
“It will take me some time to cook everything. So, you can have my skewer as well, okay, my love.”
The offer did sound great, and I was ready to eat it all, but just who was this woman supposed to be? Why did she call me ‘my love’? I couldn’t have had a relationship with a different woman before I met Belle, could I?
And now this woman was talking about cooking, as if I was already going to join her for dinner. Something didn’t feel right about that. I didn’t even know who she was. But she knew me. And when I thought about it right then and there, I grew more suspicious.
What if it was not a good thing that she knew who I was? She knew about me, but I did not know anything about her. She had the power in this matter. I had to be careful. I was in a foreign land, all alone. I didn’t know the language, let alone anything about the place. All I could rely on was my own senses and hope that my wit would keep me out of danger.
Who could this woman have been, and what could she or anybody want from me? The most I knew I would be good for was as a soldier. Did she seek money? There was nothing to my name. And a lone solider wouldn’t be the best person to ransom either. Nobody was supposed to know I was here. I made sure of it. And even if they did, what good could they get out of a washed-up gun such as myself. Was there something at play behind the charade of this woman?
Or was she merely just honest and innocent? What if she spoke true? Did something actually happen to me at Tykliss that I don’t remember.
My memories seemed to fail me. I couldn’t remember anything odd. I remember serving my time in Tykliss, and I remember leaving in one piece. Those memories felt true. I could feel that they were true. The woman now beside me? I couldn’t feel the memory of her. There was not even an inkling suspicion that I might have known her, like when you saw a familiar face or heard a familiar name. Nothing. I did not feel like I truly knew this woman.
“Umm. I’m sorry, but…” I needed some sort of clue to work with. “Could you tell me your name?”
“My poor dear. Of course.” She gave me sympathetic eyes. “I’m Julie! Remember?” She stopped and gave an excited smile. When she noticed that I didn’t have a clue, her face expressed defeat. But she kept her innocent joy and continued to walk. “My name is Julie Yahya, my love.”
Julie Yahya… Not a clue.
“I was one of the main cooks and caterers at the Kurdashon Base. Remember?” She saw that I couldn’t connect the dots, but continued. “My father was in charge of all the foods and supplies that came to the Kurdashon forces in Tykliss. Many of the allied men were welcome to eat at our private mess. You used to come with some of your unit to visit me.” She looked up at me, hoping I’d remember some of that, hoping that I’d remember her.
What Julie spoke of about going to eat at the Kurdashon Base, I completely remember. The food there was quality. It felt like it was made just for all of us of the allied forces. And we never had to pay a thing. Many who were deployed in Tykliss made their way to that huge warehouse to enjoy quality food whenever they weren’t on duty. The war made getting the best food for foreigners a little more difficult, especially when most soldiers wanted something different than their regular chow. That was something I definitely remembered. But Julie, and going there to see her? There was not an inkling of memory or feeling I could sense about that.
I looked at her to see if I could spark any sort of memory. This woman beside me was a wonderful sight to see. She wasn’t tall, but she had a lovely small face, with cheeks that rose when she smiled. And she had kind eyes that wanted to see the world in a better light. I would have surely remembered her if I saw her back then. But no. I just couldn’t remember her.
She noticed me observing her and grew a little shy. But as she glanced down, she remembered the last skewer and offered it to me.
This time, I didn’t fret when I took the skewer. I had already taken the other two. I was as far in this act than I ever hoped to be, but only more confused. Was I in danger? The third skewer couldn’t have been the caustic finale. But the food was the least of the worries. Was I being lured by the charm of a fair maiden. And if so, what for?
We didn’t say anything for the rest of the way. Once we were out of the market, moving down the street, all we did was walk. And though I was confused, there was that natural comfort that came with following along Julie’s side. A safety. Maybe that wasn’t the right word since I did feel a background sense of worry. But it was something else that made me continue alongside Julie, as if everything was going to be alright. Belonging.
I couldn’t remember her or get a feel for the details she explained. But one thing I knew was that I felt as if I was meant to stay by her side. That we were both meant to head wherever we were going. Together. As if she could take the lead, I would protect her back, and we would both end up safely where we needed to be. Together. Did I care where we were headed? For a silent wake’s time, it didn’t matter. She would still look up to be sure I was beside her. And I would gaze at her, back, in reassurance. And so long as we were both sure of each other, that’s all that truly mattered.
We arrived at the foot of a staircase crammed between some commoner’s apartments. This must have been where she lived. When we stopped, that’s when I awakened from the spell. I couldn’t just enter her home. Even though it felt as if everything would alright, the logic of the idea halted me. I had to remind myself, I did not know this woman. I felt the weight of the bags in my hand. All I was doing was helping this fine girl to take her things back home. Right?
I offered her bags of food back to her. Julie looked down at the bags I offered her.
“Look. I’m sorry, Julie. But I just don’t remember you.”
She didn’t reply. She just kept looking at the bags. Then she looked up at me and put a bit too much effort into a sudden frown. When this startled me, she turned around and made her way up the stairs. Bags still in hand, I guess I had no choice but to follow along.
Once we got to her door, I knew things had gone far enough.
“Hey. Julie. Here.” I again offered her the bags. But she blatantly ignored me and turned to unlock her door. I couldn’t just enter her home. That wasn’t right.
“Julie…” I tried to stop her, but she walked on in. She continued down the hallway until she stopped in front of a wide doorway. From there she glanced at me still at her front door. Then she nodded towards something through the doorway inside.
I hesitated at first, but at her command I entered her home to where she directed me. Through the doorway I found the kitchen and a table she likely gestured toward. Put the bags down there. That was clear. After that, Julie took my arm and led me to her living room.
“Sit” she told me as she brought me to her couch. As I sat, she went to the side and set some music on. A calm blues that was popular in Tykliss during the war. I couldn’t help but tune in to the sounds of memory lane.
“Just hold on.” She went off into the kitchen. The sound of the kettle made it clear what she was up to. But I just couldn’t help listening to the familiar tunes of some now distant memories. The war was 20 or so years ago, but it felt like a lifetime away. Was that why I couldn’t remember Julie? That couldn’t be. I’d surely remember such a sweet and lovely girl such as her.
Other memories began to spark. I did remember often going to the Kurdashon base to feast. It was something me and the troops often looked forward to. I remembered some of the lads were always excited to meet many of the girls we could find at the Kurdashon mess house. I remembered the troops wanting to take the girls to the riverside where we could enjoy the cool breeze by the water. I remembered not caring to join them because I never had much luck with the ladies. And so, I remember often roaming the riverside on my own, while the others were having fun chasing tail.
Julie came back to the living room.
“Some tea, my love.”
I was too busy reminiscing that I forgot that I had actually let myself enter her home.
Julie sat right next to me. She handed me a cup of warm herbal tea and smiled.
Again. We didn’t talk. We just sat there, enjoying the brew, enjoying the blues, enjoying the fading of blue to gold of the afternoon skies. There was a strange serenity, sitting there with Julie. It was as if time passed by so quickly and yet didn’t pass at all. I couldn’t help but relax. Julie felt me ease further back into the couch. With that, she rested her head upon my shoulder.
This sense of peace. I didn’t know how much I needed it. I let myself ease even more. My head, resting upon hers as she leaned slightly on me. Why was she so comfortable to be with? Why was she so comfortable with me? Maybe we did truly know each other. Even though I couldn’t remember her, it felt as if I should have.
There was something soothing about sitting quietly with someone you loved. That unspoken sense of trust allowed you to let down your guard, let down your alert. Staying alert all the time felt like it started to eat away at your life force. As if your future days and minutes unnoticeably burned away the longer you strained in vigilance. Feeling her beside me – her gentle body laying helplessly upon mine – allowed me to surrender to the comfort. It was finally a time I could rest. Spiritually rest. Why had it been so long since I felt this comfortable? It felt serene to finally be able to just relax next to Belle again. Why had it been so long?
Wait!
It had been so long because Belle had left me. Wasn’t I resting at home with Belle? No. Wait. I didn’t know who that was resting beside me. It wasn’t Belle!
To be continued…
Diaries of the Moonlight Hours 
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